Revenge of the Byclops

by Pink for President

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02:29
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02:52
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02:50
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02:38
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02:18
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02:35
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01:49
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credits

released August 7, 2013

Music written and performed by Pink for President
Lyrics written by Zach Amory, with the exception of "The Other Night" and "Grass Man," co-written by Zach Amory and Dallas Welk
Recorded and mixed by Zach Amory and Dallas Welk at Awfulwawful Studios
Mastered at Ursa Major Sound
Awfulwawful Records 2013

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about

Pink for President Troy, Alabama

An alternative rock band from Troy, Alabama, Pink for President consists of Zach Amory (vocals/guitar), Dallas Welk (guitar), Chris Watkins (bass), and Alex Tjoland (drums). The quartet expands upon the punk rock genre with various musical styles and is known for combining comedy and world-building in all of their creative outlets. ... more

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Track Name: Twizzlers
All day, I listen to this shit. I'm sick of everything they did. I know it's nothing in the end. Let's go (Go!), and bring all of our friends.

And I'll never get caught up with you again. I don't want to fall into this life.

All night, I think I'm gonna stay, alright? I'll party either way. I know this time will ever end. Let's go (Go!), and do it all again.

And I'll never get caught up with you again. I don't want to fall into this life. Your words are so pointless. I don't understand why you're spending all your time just trying to prove what is right.

(Let it go!) Don't throw away your life. (Let it go!) Forget it all tonight. (x 2)
Track Name: Web-Slinger
You never would expect this from me. Now I know it's right, and everything that used to hold me down's the reason why I even try. It's not the kind of life I planned out in my mind, but now's the time to save what's yours and mine.

And I'll hand over everything. Just please remember this of me, and just let go of all we've known. I'll take this one. You'll make it out on your own.

I wish I could explain what's going down when I'm away. You're better off when I am not around. Please know it's useless if I stay. It's not the kind of life I planned out in my mind, but now's the time to save what's yours and mine.
Track Name: The Candle Man (ft. Johnny Yohn)
Hey, Mr. Candle Man. I'm your biggest candle-fan. I wanna hold your candle-hand, so take me to your Candle Land. Candles don't have S.T.D.s, so I'll get on my hands and knees, make a wish and close my eyes and blow a flame that never dies.

I'm in love with The Candle Man (x3).
I'm in love, 'cause The Candle Man can.

Put your candle in my cake, and tell me what do candles make. Show me how your candle-sacks produce all this candle wax. Candles don't have S.T.D.s, so I'll get on my hands and knees, make a wish and close my eyes and blow a flame that never dies.

Zach: GASP! Candle Man!!!

Candle Man: Hey, Mr. Amory. You're the only guy who believes in me, but we can save this world in need, if only you would spread my seed. Don't worry about my S.T.D.s. It only burns when you pee, so take my hand, and this world shall see that we can live in harmony and shit.

Zach: You guys see this shit?? It's the fucking Candle Man, in OUR STUDIO!!! I told you he was real, bitches!

Josh: Uhh...what are you pointing at, Zach?? Look guys, Zach's kinda freaking me out right now.

Dallas: Wait! ...Shut the fuck up, Josh! I can FEEL him! I think... I BELIEVE!!! (guitar solo)

I'm in love with The Candle Man (x3).
I'm in love, 'cause The Candle Man can.

(80's drum solo, then a repeated chorus accompanied by an angelic choir)

END.
Track Name: Catching On
I don't know what I was thinking, to believe that you were changing, but your mind is the only thing, and you'll never be the same. I don't care what you are saying, every breath that you are wasting, 'cause I know everything you've done, and you'll never be the same.

It's okay. I don't wanna be part of this anymore, 'cause it's never gonna be just what it was before.

I'm aware of what they're saying, catching on to how you're changing, 'cause we know everything you've done, and you'll never be the same.

Whoever's next in line is better off next time.
Track Name: Boneless Chuck
I tried to hold it back and keep this to myself. Instead, I'd tell you things I said but never felt. But now you bring him down, and you go on with your life. I realize that I was right, 'cause you go down on all the guys.

You said, "I'm feeling sick, so I'll just stay home tonight." He said, "Well, that's okay babe, I hope you'll be alright," but he knows what's going on. Yeah, you really get around. He doesn't have the guts to say what he found out...

When you left him waiting by the stairs, he should have known you'd be gone. Yeah, he knows the reason you weren't there, but you're all he's got, and it's just too hard to move on.

The time is adding up, and he wonders what it's for. This place is not the same as it was a year before, and now he's had enough of the shit you put him through. He's known for way too long about the things you do...

Because you left him waiting by the stairs. He should have known you'd be gone. Yeah, he knows the reason you weren't there. You're all he's got, but now it's time to move on.

And now there's no one waiting by the stairs. You should have known he'd be gone. Yeah, you know the reason he's not there. He's all you've got, and it's just too bad, so move on.
Track Name: Go Fuck Yourself
You waste your time just trying to keep up with them. They're not really your friends. You just follow their trends, and I can't stand how you look down on the ones who don't fall for your lies. We just live our own lives.

So take a look at yourself. You think you're someone, but you're just like everyone else. Yeah, take a look at yourself, 'cause you're no better than me. You only wish you could be.

You'll never be alright with how it turned out. You only do as they say. They love you if you obey. It makes me sick, how you'll throw away everything, just so the one's that you've got will like you for who you're not.

So take a look at yourself. You think you're someone, but you're just like everyone else. Yeah, take a look at yourself, 'cause you're no better than me. You only wish you could be.

And I'll be okay, 'cause even when your fads wear off, my friends will stay, and when you're afraid, the people that you trust will turn around and walk away.

So go fuck yourself! You think you're someone, but you're just like everyone else. Yeah, go fuck yourself, 'cause you're no better than me. You only wish you could be.
Track Name: Grass Man
Zach: Don't pollute, 'cause it is bad!
Dallas: or the Grass Man will come and rape your dad!
Zach: He'll eat your soul...with his FINGERS!
Dallas: because they are his "soul eaters."
Zach: He'll fuck you in the face, then he'll fuck you in the ASS!
Dallas: Because you fucked with his fucking GRASS!
Zach: So don't leave your garbage on the ground!
Dallas: or the Grass Man's dick will slap you down!

Chorus: I used to go without a care, with pollution everyday, but the Grass Man came into my life, and he showed me a better way.

Zach: Little Timmy was walking home from school...
Dallas: He threw some trash on the ground!
Zach: That CRAZY FOOL!
Dallas: The Grass man arose from the depths of hell.
Zach: And kicked little Timmy in the BALLS!
Dallas: Timmy just dropped to his knees and cried.
Zach: 'cause all of his sperm...died!

Zach: He was late for dinner that night, and his father asked him, "Where the fuck have you been you little faggot," and started beating him repeatedly with a fire poker as he continued, "You faggot piece of shit! I wish you had died instead of your mother!" Timmy cried himself to sleep that night, and the next day, he was hit by a bus. His father never had a chance to apologize and express the true pride he felt for his son...

Chorus: I used to go without a care, with pollution everyday, but the Grass Man came into my life, and he showed me a better way.

Zach and Dallas chanting: Grass Man! Grass Man! Grass Man! Grass Man!

Grass Man: Hey little bitches, it's the Grass Maaaaan! Here we go! Check my flow, muthah fuckahhs!

I'm the Grass Man! I came from the underworld! I'm here to rip off the nuts of you boys and girls! You trashin' my turf! Now that ain't right! So I'm gonna eat yo' BAWLS tonight! Don't get me wrong! I'm not mean! I just don't like it when you trash my green! When I watch you throw away your trash and miss, I wanna drown you in Grass man piss! (piss!) (piss!) (piss!)

Chorus: I used to go without a care, with pollution everyday, but the Grass Man came into my life, and he showed me a better way. 'Cause the grass man is rad!

Dallas and Grass Man: Rad!

And I want to be rad! Pollution is bad, and that's not rad at all!
Track Name: Battle Song
All this time I spent, taking hits and giving in, I never thought we would end up this way, but now I'm not the one, and everything's already gone. Now there's nothing left to say.

I just don't understand, so tell me now, just why you're still around. I'm fucked this time. You've got me in this state of mind. I can't let go. I wish I never met you.

So now you're here again, and telling me it's not the end, but I won't wait around until you need me. It's harder to forget when you face me with my regrets. Just turn your back on me and leave.
Track Name: Laura
When I first met you, I didn't think you'd ever lead me by the hand. How did I get you? It's a wonder, and I'll never understand. You were the purest, always getting me with everything you said. Can someone cure this? Now it's a poison, and it's rushing through my head (rushing through my head).

You were the best thing that ever got me this far down. You could have done so much better, but I wish I got away with it somehow.

You really got me. Everybody says it goes away in time, but maybe not me. I found the one that was impossible to find (rushing through my head).

And I'll never look back, and regret everything that I'll never forget. Even if I have nothing to show, it was the best thing that I'll ever know. You were the best thing that I'll ever know.
Track Name: Buttsuckers
They all say, "Put the punk shit away! No one here can relate. Can't you see it's dead??" Maybe they're right. We should all sound alike. Just forget who you are! Be HARDCORE instead, 'cause in this scene, no one knows what I mean, and they find it obscene when we laugh in their face. They take these things so seriously. Guess it's how you gotta be to fit in this place.

Don't even try, 'cause we're not the same! So go on! Deny this moment of change!

The time is now, and the scene is going down, 'cause we're fucking up this town with our pop punk shit! So just get out if you don't like the sound, 'cause we're gonna stick around, and we'll never quit! I won't stand by as we fall in line and the world lives out a lie. Don't forget what's right! Fuck all the fads! Just remember what you had, and don't ever turn your back on your own life.

Don't even try, 'cause we're not the same! So go on! Deny this moment of change! You hide behind the people just like you, fed up with lies. It's time to break through!
Track Name: Saggy Bitches
Well, I was chillin' wit' my grandma and a-eatin' on a-'shrooms, when her best friend, Maggy, came into da room. She was eighty years old and lookin' seventy-nine, her decayin' hips a-swayin' and her boobies draggin' behind. (And I said:)

Saggy bitches is what I want, saggy titties and saggy cunts. Saggy bitches is all I need, so come on granny, let's fuck and a-smoke a-da weed.

(guitar solo)

Den I was chillin' at da bingo hall and eatin' more 'shrooms, when a-someone squeezed my ass and said, "Hey, guess who!" I turned around to see a-Saggy Maggy smiling at me, and she said, "Young stud, I think we need some privacy."(Then I said:)

Saggy bitches is what I want, saggy titties and saggy cunts. Saggy bitches is all I need, so come on granny, get on ya hands and knees. Saggy bitches is what I want, saggy titties and saggy cunts. Saggy bitches is all I need, so come on Maggy. Won't you marry me?

Maggy: I will!
Zach: Really?
Maggy: Of course I'll marry you!
Zach: That's wonderful news!
Maggy: Now, come on. Let's fuck!
Zach: You got it, Baby!
Maggy: Take off your rastafarian wig and let's FUCK!
Zach: Alright, here we go!

(sexual sounds)

I'll help you wipe your ass every night, caress you down just da way dat you like, let you chain me up against da wall and do da ting where you tase my balls. I'll do it all, do it all, alright. I'll love you for the last couple weeks of your life.